Awkward Sex Series Part Three: Asexuals get no love

One thing that does not get the recognition that it deserves is the freedom to be asexual. Many times this orientation gets lumped in to the LBGTQ community when it is really unrelated. Asexuality is when a person is not aroused by anything. Some people who choose to abstain are of this orientation, many of them have tried heterosexual and homosexual acts, but they don’t get anything out of it. they feel more comfortably after opting out of the sex game altogether rather than trying to force themselves into one orientation or another. some of the ones who say that Abstaining is easy may very well be of this orientation.

Stories of people who lose their desire to have sex, are filled with friends trying to set them up on dates and do things to “fix” them, as well as people assuming that they are homosexual. This shows that there may be some hostility towards those who do not fit in with society’s norm that we are all “sexually attracted to something.”  there are cases of people who are married and decide that they no longer want to have sex with their spouse. The “normal” thing to think is that the spouse who doesn’t desire sexual activity is evidently getting their sexual supply elsewhere, but who is to say that they weren’t sexually active based on societal or relational pressures.

One statistic that stood out to me is that is is reported that one percent or the population is asexual. Man times I have seen that same statistic for the homosexual population. This leads me to wonder how many homosexuals are Asexuals who were encouraged to believe that they had to be attracted to someone.

Til God hits the reset button

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Posted by on July 3, 2017 in Uncategorized


Awkward Sex Series Part Two: Effects of Celibacy

In the last post, I mentioned that there were not as many resources out there that talk about why abstaining from sex would be beneficial. but nonetheless they exist.

These include:

A lower likely hood of physical abuse, drug use, and excessive drinking and a higher likelihood of better mental health*. People who abstain also had a Lowered risk and instance of STIs, and lower risk of pregnancy (meaning lower risk of abortion, lower risk of body changes and body image issues associated with pregnancy. Many people reported that they enjoyed the ability to live as they please and not being distracted from their life goals

However, there were many sources of information that discussed negative outcomes, such as compromised immune system, depressive symptoms and lower sexual satisfaction.

However, there is one symptom that was constantly used as a negative symptom that is actually quite neutral.

Losing the desire to have sex.

When it comes to the negative effects of abstaining they seem to be present in those would would like to have sex, but cannot (some form of sexual frustration ensuing, I assume). However, this one seems like it would be a great encouragement to those who desire to live a celibate life, but their body craves the opposite.

Either way, this is probably the only page That one may ever find that is dedicated to people who choose, for one reason or another, to remain abstinent. Sadly, it looks like no one has been active on the page for a while, but it is a well spring of information for those who desire to, or have a loved one who has decided to, live a celibate lifestyle.

Happy reading.






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Posted by on July 3, 2017 in Uncategorized


Awkward Sex Series Part one: The “untouched” subject when discussing celibacy

There are countless articles talking about the health benefits of sex, masturbating and such the like. Go to any site for popular health magazines and they will often sit in the line-up for suggested articles.  There are many resources that talk about the benefits that sex has on the general well being of men and women alike, as well as how to get the most out of the experience. However, in order to find anything talking about the benefits of celibacy you like likely have to do a search on your own.

Its not that celibacy (chastity, abstinence, or just not having sex in general) in and of itself is untouched, but rather that it seems that many of those who write on  the subject are those who seem as if:

a.) they see no value in practicing celibacy

which seems related to a possibility that

b.) they see no reason for celibacy

which may give the appearance that

c.) they have not experienced (intentional) celibacy.

Again, I cannot say that everyone who have written an article against celibacy is sexually active, but it seems to be the case.

While looking for articles that discussed the benefits of abstaining, I found that there are may people who are against such a lifestyle. One person in particular seems as if he hated when anyone said that abstaining was easy. Another woman claimed that she felt unloved and unwanted by her husband who no longer wanted sex. It appears that sex and sexuality  seem to be so much of a norm in western culture, that most people could not imagine the possibility or not being sexually attracted to anyone (asexual).

In my personal experience, I have had statements ranging from “good for you” to “you guys just need to get it over with already” (coming from people who know my stance against fornication). With that in mind, it seems like those who desire to live a chaste lifestyle do not have very much support out in this fallen world (let alone being subjected by images and stories that tell them they need to get to poking for their health).

Until God hits the reset button.







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Posted by on July 3, 2017 in Uncategorized


Lmhqo. Its been over a year!

I have not posted on here in a minute, I haven’t even written anything that I just have sitting in draft either. But even with that, a lot has happened! (Praise God)

A romantic fling that I was having with an acquaintance is over. (Not sure how we are still friends at this point)

I made a coworker rage quit due to truth and a call to do the research. (Because safespace?)

I had to realize that I am a terrible person (but now I have hope in Jesus instead of thinking its a death ssentance; which is sad that I didn’t understand this before)

I found out that I was walking hard in the spirit of rebellion (and thought that I was being humble when I was doing it!)

But this would not have happened if I would not have listened to the unction to move…

…out of my parents house.

That is something that took a lot of prayer, fasting, patience and grace. Praise God for real.

I have learned so much more about the creator of the universe and His plan and desire for humanity then I would have while renting that house from them. Sometimes “come out from among them” and “be yet separate” has to apply to family, friends and people that you either like, or are otherwise accustomed to seeing. Stepping away from situations (or removing yourself from the equation in general) and being alone with God in his word helps a lot (understatement)

This makes me feel like sabbaticals are a must for people who don’t live alone. In fact,  its even biblical; Jesus would leave the crowd and go alone sometimes himself (if I am recalling correctly.)

So, yeah, take a break from this world and rest in God, your soul will thank you.

Lmhqo, by the way, is laugh my hind quarters off.

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Posted by on October 28, 2016 in Uncategorized


Missing ingredient

Okay, read this first.

Did you read it?


This makes so much more sense!

This view has helped me to understand parables and other parts of the New Testament a lot better (Yay, thank God!)

The thing is that, I believe, that the fact that the Holy Spirit can remove himself from you if you grieve Him too much is not taught enough! Now I am not saying that God is not merciful enough to be “longsuffering toward us,” or that there is no way that he is “not willing that any should perish,” nor am I saying that he doesn’t want all to “come to repentance.” 2 PETER 3:9. But as the writer of the article said, the role of the Holy Spirit in the life of a believer is what makes Blasphemy against him different from every other sin and blasphemy (the beyond forgiveness/repentance part).

This have given me a better understanding of John 3:16 (which most “churched people know by heart”)

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life”

There is one word that I believe that does not get the attention that it needs.


This word implies that a person that believes on the Son of God has a chance of perishing.

I was going to put a bunch of examples of different things but honestly, it doesn’t leave much room for questions or discussion. So I’ll tell you what: <— this is my email.

Send me an email and I will give you my phone number (please text before you call).

Hope to hear for you soon.

Heart me.

*Now before you get on me for using the king James version or accuse me of king James onlyism, I looked at about 50 versions of the Bible containing this verse. and about 30 of them said something to the degree of “should not perish” or “may not perish.”

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Posted by on July 21, 2015 in Uncategorized


Society and Earrings 2

I am willing to say that the original Society and Earrings post had a misspelling in the title. I also realize that it was a rant when i was more or less under a yoke of bondage. Ok, I was under a yoke of bondage, which really damaged my perception or right and wrong wondering why society (at the time I would conflate society and the church) was not doing what was needed to protect young women.

Now, the post looks like its just a post on regarding modesty at an understandable level, but what the readers may not understand is that in order to uphold this standard of modesty I would often wear layers upon layers of ill fitting clothing. I wore leather jackets in 90 degree weather in high school. granted, I am very cold natured in the winter, but I never realized that my being tired when it was hot was possibly heat stress. in college, I started dressing like, well, a 20 something year old professional, the occasional skirt and dress at my knees, shapely clothing, waist belts, I even had a deacon thank me for dressing like I was my age (now, this deacon has known me all of my life and actually kinda cares about me as a person, he saw it coming out of my shell.) sometime in college i slippes back into the rut and looked at those pictures and thought Egad! What was I wearing!


Was I wearing (girl) shorts?


Was I wearing bathing suits.


Was I showing cleavage?

Didn’t really have any to show

Was I wearing spaghetti strapped shirts.

not without layering

Was I wearing clothing that showed my body shape?


And more importantly

Was I not described as “not allowed to do anything”

Nope, I knew high school students who had more liberty than me

I thought that it was my job, my responsibility and reasonable service to “tempt not the brethren.” But not only was that misquoted, but it was seriously taken out of context. I had heard from one side of the camp that I need to cover up to not get negative attention, and from the other, that it really didn’t matter if I wore a potato sack, if a man wanted me he would see me through it. Granted, I knew that I could check out guys (yes, unfortunately I would do so in passing) regardless of what they wore, but if the latter statement were true, then very few viable suitors saw and wanted me. This was my thought until somewhat recently.

I was looking throughout my closet and thought that I had too many cute clothing and was searching for something ugly to wear. I chose a sleeveless black dress a black shrug and this big black shawl/vest thingy to ensure a shapeless silhouette. I felt sufficient, Surely I will be noticed by no one today!

At the time I had been talking to my man crush for several months, and I get at text after church that looks something like this:

You looked nice today 🙂

Now, he complements me somewhat regularly, but he doesn’t complement everything that I wear (and honestly I don’t expect it). With that, I knew his comment was sincere. I was almost mad that I failed at my mission of “tempt not the brethren”,  but amused that I got a complement on a day where I was trying to make sure that I wouldn’t get any. I was amused that the other side of the camp was right. God gave us liberty to be able to enjoy the things he permits us to have in this world, not to stress over whether or not we are doing it right.

With that in mind, I now look in my closet and think:

I don’t have enough cute stuff.

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Posted by on June 13, 2015 in Life stuffs



Well, I went to credit school today and it reminded me of the title of this post. What is credit school you say? Credit School is what happens at my place of employment when you do not get the sufficient number of credit card applications during the month. You are required to attend or else you will get written up, which, from what I hear, is bad.

Now they hold credit school at 8:00 am on Saturdays because, for the general population, Saturday mornings are a day for sleeping in whether just to rest, or to recuperate from the night before. However, for me, it is almost more of an incentive not to get the applications.  You see, I like credit school; I like seeing coworkers from random departments come together because, well, its almost like being in school again. As for it being held on a Saturday morning, God touches me with His kindness and mercy before that time, so honestly, it gives me something to do for about 30 minutes to an hour once a month.

Now, do I believe that is it impossible to get all of the credit applications that I need in a month? Honestly, no. There are several people who average anywhere from 8 to 12 per month, one lady even would give her’s away until management said told her to stop. So with that, Why don’t I feel the need to get the credit apps? First of all, I do not like asking people if they have a credit card with us, because I usually say no when other stores ask, let alone someone telling me no. I am also a thrift store shopper, so spending 105 dollars on a dress that I can get for 99 cents because someone donated it, doesn’t make sense. Also, I got my first, and only, credit card when I was 25 only because I had no credit and I wanted to build credit in case I got married; otherwise, I wouldn’t have one in my possession. So with that, I don’t “believe in” credit cards, or credit card pandering, especially since there is no real consequence for it.

I didn’t realize it until I left, but we were sent an email with the manes of people who were not required to go to credit school. The thing that I noticed about said list is that the list or people who did not get their credit card applications was so large that it was that much easier to sent the list of those who were not required to attend. When I got into the class, I saw that there were a lot of people, I mean, some standing in the halls waiting for chairs to get sat down. There were new employees, there were old timers, there were probably even a few pacesetters (people who sell a lot) to in part, it made me feel a bit more comfortable. The issue is that the sight reminded me of the wide path of destruction.

You see, I don’t mind credit school because I like not having to ask every customer about credit cards; because at the end of the day, I am still employed. Just like the young adult doesn’t mind hangovers because they like being able to to party and escape into drunkenness; because at the end of the day, they can say they had a good time. Like the the woman who doesn’t mind having or risking getting STDs, because she likes the feeling of sex because at then end of the day, it was totally worth it. Like the husband who doesn’t mind having a disinterested wife, or curses on his children, because he enjoys sexual encounters with other women; because at the end of the day, he’s still been married for 30 years, with well behaved children. Now when I mention all of these people, please understand that I am not envisioning people of the world, not the case at all, I am imagining the one who is ushering at the door of the sanctuary, I am imagining the one who preached that wonderful sermon that you didn’t pay attention to last week, I am imagining the one who you drop of your children to every Sunday, and finally the one in the choir stand waiving their hand.

But lets say my place of employment decides to revamp the system and say that they will only keep those who consistently get applications, that would put me in a troubling situation. It would be like if the young adult got brain damage. It would be like if the woman’s body started breaking down because of her escapades. It would be like the husband’s wife and children behaving in public as he did in secret. Not fun.

Now, The Bible says in Philippians 2:15 that we are supposed to be “blameless and harmless” as well as “without rebuke” to the rest of the world, but from what I feel has been revealed to me, he is referring to spiritual things (see Philippians 2:14-16)

I guess the moral or the story is that we need to do better.

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Posted by on June 13, 2015 in Uncategorized