I am willing to say that the original Society and Earrings post had a misspelling in the title. I also realize that it was a rant when i was more or less under a yoke of bondage. Ok, I was under a yoke of bondage, which really damaged my perception or right and wrong wondering why society (at the time I would conflate society and the church) was not doing what was needed to protect young women.
Now, the post looks like its just a post on regarding modesty at an understandable level, but what the readers may not understand is that in order to uphold this standard of modesty I would often wear layers upon layers of ill fitting clothing. I wore leather jackets in 90 degree weather in high school. granted, I am very cold natured in the winter, but I never realized that my being tired when it was hot was possibly heat stress. in college, I started dressing like, well, a 20 something year old professional, the occasional skirt and dress at my knees, shapely clothing, waist belts, I even had a deacon thank me for dressing like I was my age (now, this deacon has known me all of my life and actually kinda cares about me as a person, he saw it coming out of my shell.) sometime in college i slippes back into the rut and looked at those pictures and thought Egad! What was I wearing!
Was I wearing (girl) shorts?
Was I wearing bathing suits.
Was I showing cleavage?
Didn’t really have any to show
Was I wearing spaghetti strapped shirts.
not without layering
Was I wearing clothing that showed my body shape?
And more importantly
Was I not described as “not allowed to do anything”
Nope, I knew high school students who had more liberty than me
I thought that it was my job, my responsibility and reasonable service to “tempt not the brethren.” But not only was that misquoted, but it was seriously taken out of context. I had heard from one side of the camp that I need to cover up to not get negative attention, and from the other, that it really didn’t matter if I wore a potato sack, if a man wanted me he would see me through it. Granted, I knew that I could check out guys (yes, unfortunately I would do so in passing) regardless of what they wore, but if the latter statement were true, then very few viable suitors saw and wanted me. This was my thought until somewhat recently.
I was looking throughout my closet and thought that I had too many cute clothing and was searching for something ugly to wear. I chose a sleeveless black dress a black shrug and this big black shawl/vest thingy to ensure a shapeless silhouette. I felt sufficient, Surely I will be noticed by no one today!
At the time I had been talking to my man crush for several months, and I get at text after church that looks something like this:
You looked nice today 🙂
Now, he complements me somewhat regularly, but he doesn’t complement everything that I wear (and honestly I don’t expect it). With that, I knew his comment was sincere. I was almost mad that I failed at my mission of “tempt not the brethren”, but amused that I got a complement on a day where I was trying to make sure that I wouldn’t get any. I was amused that the other side of the camp was right. God gave us liberty to be able to enjoy the things he permits us to have in this world, not to stress over whether or not we are doing it right.
With that in mind, I now look in my closet and think:
I don’t have enough cute stuff.