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Society and Earrings 2

I am willing to say that the original Society and Earrings post had a misspelling in the title. I also realize that it was a rant when i was more or less under a yoke of bondage. Ok, I was under a yoke of bondage, which really damaged my perception or right and wrong wondering why society (at the time I would conflate society and the church) was not doing what was needed to protect young women.

Now, the post looks like its just a post on regarding modesty at an understandable level, but what the readers may not understand is that in order to uphold this standard of modesty I would often wear layers upon layers of ill fitting clothing. I wore leather jackets in 90 degree weather in high school. granted, I am very cold natured in the winter, but I never realized that my being tired when it was hot was possibly heat stress. in college, I started dressing like, well, a 20 something year old professional, the occasional skirt and dress at my knees, shapely clothing, waist belts, I even had a deacon thank me for dressing like I was my age (now, this deacon has known me all of my life and actually kinda cares about me as a person, he saw it coming out of my shell.) sometime in college i slippes back into the rut and looked at those pictures and thought Egad! What was I wearing!

Now:

Was I wearing (girl) shorts?

no.

Was I wearing bathing suits.

nope

Was I showing cleavage?

Didn’t really have any to show

Was I wearing spaghetti strapped shirts.

not without layering

Was I wearing clothing that showed my body shape?

Kinda.

And more importantly

Was I not described as “not allowed to do anything”

Nope, I knew high school students who had more liberty than me

I thought that it was my job, my responsibility and reasonable service to “tempt not the brethren.” But not only was that misquoted, but it was seriously taken out of context. I had heard from one side of the camp that I need to cover up to not get negative attention, and from the other, that it really didn’t matter if I wore a potato sack, if a man wanted me he would see me through it. Granted, I knew that I could check out guys (yes, unfortunately I would do so in passing) regardless of what they wore, but if the latter statement were true, then very few viable suitors saw and wanted me. This was my thought until somewhat recently.

I was looking throughout my closet and thought that I had too many cute clothing and was searching for something ugly to wear. I chose a sleeveless black dress a black shrug and this big black shawl/vest thingy to ensure a shapeless silhouette. I felt sufficient, Surely I will be noticed by no one today!

At the time I had been talking to my man crush for several months, and I get at text after church that looks something like this:

You looked nice today 🙂

Now, he complements me somewhat regularly, but he doesn’t complement everything that I wear (and honestly I don’t expect it). With that, I knew his comment was sincere. I was almost mad that I failed at my mission of “tempt not the brethren”,  but amused that I got a complement on a day where I was trying to make sure that I wouldn’t get any. I was amused that the other side of the camp was right. God gave us liberty to be able to enjoy the things he permits us to have in this world, not to stress over whether or not we are doing it right.

With that in mind, I now look in my closet and think:

I don’t have enough cute stuff.

 
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Posted by on June 13, 2015 in Life stuffs

 
Aside

I have noticed that this nation may have begun to go into a moral decline; however, this does not stop parents from wanting to protect their children. While many have noticed that children’s fashion has gotten more racy as time has gone by but there is no greater culprit than…

The hoop earring.

You read that correctly; the hoop earring. There is nothing more menacing, more scandalous than the sight of a child wearing such an adult article of clothing: in fact, using two search engines, the author found more photos of adults wearing hoop earrings than children (after searching child/girl wearing hoop earrings.) This is something that I have encountered not only in person, but in the media as well (via “Everybody hates Chris.”)

As a former sheltered child, this causes me to mentally tell them, who hath beguiled you? I wore hoop earrings throughout my childhood, and I can assure you that the little attraction that I was able to foster was not due to my “incessant use of hoop earrings” I could wear the hugest hoops that my ears could carry, or the smallest that my ears could condone, and still, not a single soul would hit on me.

you know who would get hit on?

The girls who wore (girl) shorts.

The girls who wore bathing suits.

The girls who could show cleavage.

The girls who could wear spaghetti strapped shirts to school.

The girls who wore clothing that showed their body shape (whether they were “shapely” or not)

And more importantly

The girls who were not described as “not allowed to do anything”

Now, I understand that most people (I would hope) are looking to raise virtuous young women from their darling little girls, as well as teach them that appearance is not everything (e.g. 1 Peter 3:1-6). But at the same time, thinking that you are doing a favor by causing them to abstain from hoop earrings is like telling me (at thirteen) that I can’t wear a head band because it makes me look like I am trying to look like I am trying to get a predator on my tail. This is one of the sadder traditions that I have had the pleasure of dealing with. there are better things that we could do to protect female children other than putting them in a figurative (or litteral chastity belt)

Details at 11.

Society and Earrings

 
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Posted by on March 26, 2014 in Life stuffs

 

Legacy

So my God cousin posts two different statuses about how he is missing the men who have passed on in his life (his grandfather is in hospice at the moment with a bleak report) While I am one to say, “when the doctor says no, what does God say?” his statuses actually made me think about something.

I have, for a long time believed that when people pass on, in many cases, it may be because God knows that the people here on earth may not grow in the was that He desires (among other things). With that, he named people who were a part of my life as well; a list that could cause me to cry as well, if I were so inclined.

I understand the hurt that is caused by losing a pawpaw: believe me that I do. But we are still here on this earth; we are the ones who sat under their teachings, received their gifts, love and occasional harassment. We remember the sound advice, or outlandish statements that helped us to admire and relate to them (or sometimes not relate to them). In any case, they helped us to feel comfortable and loved when, in many cases, we could not feel that level acceptance from anyone else. We may not have known everything about them, how they made the best (insert noun here), how they got so good at (insert verb here), or why they had no interest in (noun-or-verb-goes-here) but we know that we had a connection that we still tend to feel after they are gone.

So, since we are still here, what are we going to do with all of the things that we have learned? I fear that sometimes if we look at how people are going on and growing older, we will abdicate our responsibility as the youngest adults. We are the grandma’s and grandpas of the next generation, whether we can see it or not, and it seems fitting that in respect to those who have passed on and that have poured into us, that we insure that we give honor where honor is due. Live the legacy that they saw in you, live it to the glory of God, That the teaching of those before us would not be in vain.

Here is my unsolicited reply to your statuses, may you find it and not be offended by it.

 
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Posted by on March 17, 2014 in Life stuffs